Have you ever had these thoughts or experiences in your relationship?
• You no longer knew what was true and a lie.
• You felt emotionally betrayed.
• Your confidence in the partnership is in shreds.
• You feel that your spirit has been violated by the manipulation of your partner.
If so then maybe you are with someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
Those suffering from NPD may on the outside appear to be secure with normal values and objectives—but with a trained eye and a closer look, that is far from the truth.
A person with NPD will be whatever you want them to be – as long as they get what they want. But if they hear the word “No” you will find yourself suddenly in exile, and left perplexed, possibly because of their clever spin, blaming yourself for what you’ve apparently done wrong.
A person with NPD can at one moment elevate and in the next moment will undermine you. You will be accused of things that the narcissistic has actually done—this is called projection. Projection is common among narcissists.
Narcissism is a form of emotional abuse. Narcissists play subtle, psychological games spinning the truth in a manner that is aimed at undermining the other person’s psyche.
What Exactly Is NPD?
Narcissism affects men more than women. A person with NPD is spectacularly lacking in curiosity or concern for others, but can easily stimulate both if it ensures the continuation of what psychologists call “narcissistic supply” of uncritical admiration and adoration.
How can you differentiate between a badly behaved rogue who may really be genuine – and a man, or women who has become highly skilled in camouflaging their lack of authentic emotion?
Here are the factors that separate the rogue from the narcissist. If a person displays five or more of the following traits, they are likely to have narcissistic tendencies.
• A grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
• Is preoccupied and brags about their success.
• Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and therefore deserving of special attention.
• Requires excessive admiration.
• Has a sense of entitlement, i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations. Difficulty accepting “No.”
• Is interpersonally exploitive, i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve his or her ends and is a master at using the tactic of “spinning” the truth to achieve his or her ends.
• Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feeling and needs of others.
• Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
Narcissism is not widely recognized but is debilitating to any person whose partner suffers from this disorder. If you partner with someone who has this disorder, whatever you do will not be enough. It may be hard to accept but being the partner of a narcissist is like being infiltrated with a virus. If you fail to erect defenses and build immunity he can make you sick.